Have a Good Day
Photo by Kent Pilcher from Unsplash.com
We have probably all heard about people who have a sunny disposition. They wake up in a good mood, take small irritations in stride, and bounce back from adversity relatively quickly. I do not have this kind of disposition. A good day for me is waking up in a neutral mood and being able to take small irritations in stride. Inevitably, something gets to me, and then I have to work my way back to equanimity and calm. Often, I bounce back from adversity quickly; other times, bouncing back takes a while. In general, though, over the years, I am finding that I have many more good days than bad days. The secret to this is that I no longer go through my day on my own. I have embraced the advice of A Course in Miracles to cultivate a relationship with my personal Guide. Developing this kind of trust in my Guide has been very gradual, coming about through many, many experiences of asking for help or “turning a problem over” to my Guide, and then feeling so much better as a result. Like the proverbial mustard tree, my trust is a living thing that sprouted as a tiny seedling years ago, and has continued to grow.
I am sure that I am not alone in finding that my day-to-day life constantly presents me with problems, challenges, frustrations, fears, and disappointments. Any of us can cultivate a relationship with “something greater”—our own personal Guide—to help us to navigate the barrage of opportunities to have a lousy day. The qualities that emanate from our Guide are wisdom, of course, but also, acceptance, gentleness, kindness, peace, and even love. We may conceive of our Guide as within ourselves, or we may conceive of our Guide as outside ourselves. Both are valid and simply a matter of preference or belief. The Holy Spirit, Higher Self, Jesus, the Buddha, Mother Mary, Guanyin, God, the Divine, Universal Wisdom, and Intuition are all candidates for a personal Guide. Again, it is a matter of preference or belief who or what we each choose to help and support us as we go through our lives.
Recently, I re-read a section in Chapter 30 of A Course in Miracles, called, “Rules for Decision.” Rather than being a guide for, say, weighing pros and cons in making a decision, it is a guide for noticing our thoughts and redirecting our minds throughout the day whenever it is practical. This step-by-step mindfulness process is aimed at developing trust in one’s personal Guide as a source of help, and deepening the relationship. Of course, you don’t have to embrace these goals! You have likely been making decisions your whole life without explicitly consulting a Guide, so why start now? Naturally, whether or not to try out these steps is a decision, and you have free will in making it, just as we all do. If you are curious about this approach to having a good day, then read on. There is a short version of the Rules for Decision, which is simply the first 2 rules, and then the full version, which is made up of all 7 rules. Perhaps try out the short version as an experiment. See if you have a good day when you let your Guide be with you in your choices.
A Course in Miracles states, “[d]ecisions are continuous,” (T-30.I.1:1-2). It explains that we don’t always know when we are making a decision. Nonetheless, it encourages us to simply practice with the decisions that we are aware of. The first rule is to say to yourself at the very start of your day:
“²Today I will make no decision by myself.” (T-30.I.2:2)
This invites your Guide to join you in any decision (or reminds you to join with your Guide, in the case of a Guide like Universal Wisdom). It also sets an intention that you will not be the judge of what to do in a situation or even of the situation itself. As with any mind-training program, it is to be expected that old habits will crop up. It takes practice to develop new ways of thinking and responding. Very often, we will find ourselves having made up our minds about what to do, and we will only ask for help from our Guide afterwards. This is why there is a long version of the Rules for Decision! The later ones help us to “correct course” when we find ourselves not having a good day. Nonetheless, you can practice with just this rule and the next one.
The instructions for the second rule are as follows:
Throughout the day, at any time you think of it and have a quiet moment for reflection, tell yourself again the kind of day you want; the feelings you would have, the things you want to happen to you, and the things you would experience, and say:
“²If I make no decisions by myself, this is the day that will be given me.” (T-30.I.4:1-2)
This rule is a reminder of your intention about having a good day through the process of making decisions with your Guide. It expresses openness—even faith—that by navigating the day with your Guide, you will at the very least have a more peaceful day. Only experiences of inviting your Guide into your thinking and decision-making and then having a good day will convince you to keep doing so. At the same time, without setting this kind of intention, it’s much harder to notice a difference between a day in which you make decisions with your Guide and a day in which you do not.
The longer set of rules contains a series of steps to get back on track when you find that you are not having a good day. Whenever you lose a sense of peace or contentment, you are no longer making decisions with your Guide. It may seem as if an external event has caused your day to go side-ways, but in fact, it’s only your reaction to whatever has happened that is ruining your day. Some judgment has crept into your awareness and it interferes with your relationship with your Guide. Judgment can make you forget to turn to your Guide when you are facing a dilemma about what to do. It can also make it hard to discern the guidance you receive. Once you frame the problem in your own terms and perhaps even choose how to respond, it then becomes very difficult to hear another perspective, especially from the quiet voice of your Guide. Lastly, judgment can well make you resist the guidance that you do discern. In other words, once you fall into judgment, you are making decisions on your own.
I mentioned free will earlier, and it comes into play again at a juncture like this. You are free to make a different choice, even when your frame of mind is unquiet. A Course in Miracles provides instruction about how to manage yourself when you have lost your peace and want to change your mind:
⁶[…] if you find resistance strong and dedication weak, you are not ready. ⁷Do not fight yourself. ⁸But think about the kind of day you want, and tell yourself there is a way in which this very day can happen just like that. ⁹Then try again to have the day you want. (T-30.I.1:6-9)
The third rule in the Rules for Decision is called, “a quick restorative” (T-30.I.5:5). It is designed to help you step out of judgment and ‘restore’ some internal settings, so that you can go on to have a good day. It is an example of ‘resigning as your own teacher,’ which is discussed in an earlier chapter (Chapter 12, Section V, “The Sane Curriculum.”). Before asking your Guide what to do in a particular situation, apply the third rule by saying to yourself:
“⁴I have no question. ⁵I forgot what to decide.” (T-30.I.3:4-5)
This makes me laugh, and I hope you find it light as well. Judgment is often very serious, as is resistance. This rule can soften those defenses against joining with your Guide in the goal of having a good day.
Since judgment can be tricky to dissolve, there are more rules to work with to help disarm resistance and reopen your mind. Rules 4 and 5 work together. To apply rule 4, say to yourself:
“²At least I can decide I do not like what I feel now.” (T-30.I.8:2)
I find this step of the process to be ingenious. It takes your experience of feeling bad and uses it like a fulcrum to help you change your mind. It reminds you that the power of decision is always available to you, no matter your state of mind. Deciding that you do not like how you feel, in conjunction with the 24-7 help your Guide offers, creates the opportunity to feel differently. Notice if this rule leads to a shift in you. You can then follow on with the rule 5:
“²And so I hope I have been wrong.” (T-30.I.9:2)
As the Course goes on to explain:
³This works against the sense of opposition, and reminds you that help is not being thrust upon you but is something that you want and that you need, because you do not like the way you feel. ⁴This tiny opening will be enough to let you go ahead with just a few more steps you need to let yourself be helped. (T-30.I.9:3-4)
Forging and deepening a relationship with a personal Guide not only highlights when we fall into judgment, it also highlights our relationship to asking for help and allowing ourselves to receive it. Even with years of training our minds, our reactions to events are often immediate, and they are often negative. We may feel like a victim, jump to a conclusion, blame ourselves for the situation, shut down, and so on. At this juncture, we are much better off if we allow the possibility to enter our minds that we have made a wrong assessment or decision, whether about ourselves or about an external reason that we believe is making us have a lousy day. With that opening, we can remember that we do not have to navigate the day on our own. Our Guide stands at the ready as a source of wisdom, acceptance, gentleness, kindness, peace, and even love. So, at any moment in the day, you can apply rule 6 and say:
“⁴I want another way to look at this.” (T-30.I.11:4)
Having arrived at rule 6, you may very well find that “another way to look at” a particular situation arrives on the heels of stating the rule to yourself. The rule attests to your readiness for this other way, and it can also be an actual request to receive this other way from your Guide. See if this is so for you, and if you can then go on to have a good day.
If a final step is needed, you can use rule 7 to bring yourself all the way to making a request of your Guide for help. The Course explains:
12. (7) This final step is but acknowledgment of lack of opposition to be helped. ²It is a statement of an open mind, not certain yet, but willing to be shown:
“³Perhaps there is another way to look at this.
⁴What can I lose by asking?”
⁵Thus you now can ask a question that makes sense, and so the answer will make sense as well. ⁶Nor will you fight against it, for you see that it is you who will be helped by it. (T-30.I.12:1-6)
Your Guide is there for you, in very specific ways, tailored to you and to your challenges, all through the day. As A Course in Miracles explains in a much earlier chapter,
9. This course offers a very direct and a very simple learning situation, and provides the Guide Who tells you what to do. ²If you do it, you will see that it works. ³Its results are more convincing than its words. ⁴They will convince you that the words are true. (T-9.V.9:1-4)
Put differently, the most compelling evidence that your Guide stands at the ready and can be called upon at any time comes from repeated experiences of asking for help and receiving it.
At the end of the Workbook of the A Course in Miracles, which contains 365 daily, mind-training lessons, there is an assurance about our Guide that reinforces the message of the “Rules for Decision” section of Chapter 30 described in this post:
1. This course is a beginning, not an end. ²Your Friend goes with you. ³You are not alone. ⁴No one who calls on Him can call in vain. ⁵Whatever troubles you, be certain that He has the answer, and will gladly give it to you, if you simply turn to Him and ask it of Him. ⁶He will not withhold all answers that you need for anything that seems to trouble you. ⁷He knows the way to solve all problems, and resolve all doubts. ⁸His certainty is yours. ⁹You need but ask it of Him, and it will be given you. (W-ep.l:1-9)
I hope that you have a very good day.
After reading the post, a reader emailed suggesting angels as a source of guidance and also Grace.
A Course in Miracles is published by The Foundation for Inner Peace. All the books comprising the Course, along with the supplemental pamphlets, are now found online:
https://acim.org/acim/en
All quotations of A Course in Miracles in this blog post are drawn from this version of the Course.